i think my tv is drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
