sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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