is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
