and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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