playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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