Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
