Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
