is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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