listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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