I must be too annoying 4 u.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
