i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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