Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
