I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
