he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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