3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think my fart just growled at me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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