He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
did i just pee glitter
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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