dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just want nice things and good sex
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
