i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
