I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
