She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
