Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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