I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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