WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
