I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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