I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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