Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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