The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
