It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
