no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize