just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
