Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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