I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
