I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Are we still banned from the library?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
