508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
