I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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