can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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