What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
