Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
do nipples grow back?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
