i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
