Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
