Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
