Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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