So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
