ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
