YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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