She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
