I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
