Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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