i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
