I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
