I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
