I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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