i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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