i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
